I had an interesting conversation with the psychologist at my not-so-wonderful appointment last week. She was telling me about a show that she had recently seen (Violet). It was about a girl who had an accident that disfigured her face, so people often stared at or teased her. The psych related this show to my own life because of the way my leg is swollen and disfigured. She then asked me if I’d rather have people stare and say nothing or just ask about it. I thought for, well, 0.2 seconds, and then gave my answer-I’d rather them just ask.
I often see people staring at my leg, or doing the whole “look when I’m not watching” thing, where they’ll sneak a glance after I’ve walked past them or when I’m looking the other way. I want to say something snarky, like, “hey, take a picture so you can stare all you want,” but I refrain, thinking of the times when I see someone who is a bit different. I think looking or staring is a typical response for most people, regardless of whether it is right or socially acceptable.
I’m really not a fan of the stares, but I feel more comfortable about people looking at my leg when I can explain what happened first. That way they don’t make any assumptions or judgments simply based on what they see. I can tell them about my accident and my RSD/CRPS and let them into my life a bit. Sure, people don’t usually want to stand around listening to all of that stuff (which is why I usually just say, “I have a chronic pain disorder called RSD,” and leave it at that), but sometimes they’re really curious and willing to learn. I like those kind of people because then I’m able to spread awareness about this monster.
The comments people make are usually worse than the stares and questions. People asking if I knew my leg was so huge, or trying to compare my situation with that one time when they got a paper cut…yeah, not helpful. Or how about the people who say I can’t do things just because I’m on crutches? Ooh, that makes my blood boil. I know my limits and I know what I can do and what might be a bit more challenging, so I don’t really need the opinions of others to help me figure that out.
So, if you ever see me roaming around a store or taking a walk down the street, feel free to ask questions. I’ll even answer the dumb ones, like if RSD is contagious (for the record, it’s only as contagious as a broken leg). Once you’ve taken the time to become educated on my condition, then you can stare all ya want…but keep your silly comments to yourself, please and thank you.
College on Crutches 